How I Met Your Friend
Being a finite creature, it would be hard to comprehend the
plans of an Infinite Being. But every now and then He lets us have a sneak peek
into His Grand Scheme; and let me tell you, it is a beautiful and majestic
scheme that brings me to tears when I sit and ponder it in depth.
God’s particular plans for me are barely a sliver off the
tip of the iceberg, but gives me chills with its grandeur. It wasn't “love at
first sight,” but it was a love set aside before the beginning of creation for
me and Clint to share with each other at His appointed time.
I, like most girls, thought about marriage at a young age,
five years old to be exact. One day I rushed to my mom, crying because I had
just heard a story of how a man had beaten his wife. Even at such a young age,
I understood marriage to be a sacred and safe relationship. That story shattered my naivety. My mom
prayed with me for my future husband right then that he would be someone gentle
and kind who would take good care of me. I’m tearing up at God’s providence as
I write this. He gives such good gifts to His children!
Fast forward a few years to high school. I still prayed for
my future husband and began keeping a journal (handbook) to give him on our
wedding day. I wrote some things in that journal I will talk about in a minute.
Clint and I figured out that we had been in the same place at the exact same
time on several random occasions during our lives, but had never actually met
or knew who the other person was. For instance, we were looking through my old
senior memory book, and on one of the pages I had kept most of my ticket stubs
from movies or events I had gone to. He recognized my Josh McDowell ticket
where I had gone with my youth group one night to hear McDowell speak. Clint
had also taken his youth group there that exact SAME night!
In that same memory book is a letter I wrote to God about my
future husband. I listed off some things I wanted in my future husband. “Tall”
was definitely in there. Check. As well as intelligent. I specifically wanted a
guy smarter than I am because I wouldn't have respected him otherwise. Check.
Clint is a phenomenally intelligent guy. He constantly amazes me with what he
knows and how easily and quickly he can learn things. This isn't a moment where
I want you to say “awe but you are really smart too Susanna!” I’m not saying
I’m unintelligent at all. I’m just saying he would have to be incredibly
intelligent to be smarter than I am. ;P Just kidding. I just wanted to make a
smart joke.
Fast forward again to college. My Honors College at Jones
County Junior College hosted a Christianity vs. Atheist debate with Christopher
Hitchens and Dinesh D’Souza. Clint sat in the back with some friends, and I sat
in the middle with mine. We still had not met.
Around that same time at Jones, my roommate’s boyfriend and
his friend (Clint) helped her move some stuff in our dorm. Clint stood in the
dorm room of his future wife and never knew it. I wasn't there. So once again,
we did not meet. The journal I wrote to him sat in that dorm room until I
graduated. We were so close to meeting!
But alas, I graduated and moved on to the University of
Southern Mississippi to finish out my bachelor’s degree. Thankfully we have the
same taste in music. Benji Davis came to town to perform a concert at the old
original Mugshots before it burned down. If you don’t know who Benji Davis is,
that’s ok. I still don’t either. We most likely looked each other in the eye
that night. The old Mugshots is small. A ton of people came that night, but you
could still easily bump into everybody there on your way to the bathroom. It
reminds me of stories in the Bible after Jesus rose from the dead and would
walk among His people, but they wouldn't always know it was Him until He
allowed them to “see” who He really was, the Son of God. I believe He did the
same thing in mine and Clint’s lives. The timing wasn't right for us to meet
yet then. God knew what he was doing. He and I were in two different times in
our lives that wouldn't have jived at the time.
As I said, we have the same taste in music. Each year
Southern puts on an event called EaglePalooza. That year Phillip Phillips would
be performing alongside some other opening bands. I was explaining to Clint one
day how I discovered the band Churchhill as one of the opening acts and how
much I loved them. Clint had been there
too.
Big deal you think. Thousands of people were there that day.
And they were. But even more thousands were at Jazz Fest in New Orleans not
long before. Mumford and Sons as well as the Avett Brothers (my two favorite
bands) played back to back the one year I went. If you've ever been to Jazz
Fest or any type of large music venue, you know how packed out it is and how
hard it would be to find someone, even if you were looking for each other. While
Mumford and Sons played, one of the Avett Brothers stood in the crowd just feet
away from me. As I told this story to Clint, he looked at me and said he was at
Jazz Fest that year and had stood barely a few feet away from that same Avett
Brother. If I had had the guts, Clint would've gotten to witness me strolling
up to the Avett Brother with a big hug to hand out. But I didn't. We never saw each other…that we know of.
Then came Thanksgiving. Clint and I were talking about what
my family does for holidays such as Thanksgiving. My family doesn't really have
any particular traditions, so one year we randomly had our Thanksgiving meal at
Lake Tiak Kata. I told this story to Clint and mentioned how beautiful and
unusually warm the weather was that year. He remembered it. He had been there
the exact same year with a youth group. We’re both convinced we have looked
each other in the eye at some point before we met. But the timing still wasn't
right.
Fast forward to a year before we met. I had recently gotten
into MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) at my friend’s new martial arts business and took
classes from a guy named Clay. Clay and Clint are good friends from the same
fraternity in college. I took classes most nights when I could. But apparently
the few nights I didn't come, Clint went to hang out and rough house with Clay
after classes. We were SO CLOSE to
meeting! But even then, looking back at who we were back then, we wouldn't have
been ready for each other yet. God knew what He was doing.
Now this is how we actually did meet for the first time
officially. I went to a friend’s wedding the weekend after Valentine’s Day in
2014. During the ceremony, I saw one of the groomsmen who looked really
familiar to me. I talked to him at the reception and tried to figure out how we
knew each other. We could never come to any conclusion. We had some mutual
friends, but had never been in the same place at the same time. He was even a
fraternity brother with Clay and did MMA with him. This is how I met Clint’s
best friend. His best friend and I ended up going out on a few dates, but
decided not to pursue anything because I was moving to Birmingham, Alabama in
the next couple months and being 3.5 hours away was a little much for someone
we had each just met. Before we finalized this decision though, he invited me
to a game night with some of his close friends. That night I met Clint. The
only thing I knew about him before hand was that he didn't like penguins. Since
then I've learned a lot more. Like the fact that he doesn't like clowns either.
Clint and I became friends that night and treated everything
like a friendship. Even our first two “dates” were just as friends. I had made
that very clear in the beginning. People may look at our relationship and think
things moved too fast, but it feels like we've known each other forever and we
expedited a lot of our relationship. The first time we hung out together was a
Friday night in April. We met up in downtown Hattiesburg, and ended up having a
conversation that lasted all night and into the morning. We walked all over the
place that night. He was one of the most interesting people I had ever met and
never seemed to get boring. But I still
kept my guard up. He had recently broken up with his girlfriend and I was still
getting over his best friend. I didn't want us to fall into a rebound
relationship with each other. But our conversation lasted until 8 o’clock the
next morning after we had walked everywhere and even gotten Taco Bell for
breakfast (which he hates). At the end of the night (early morning), he offered
me a ticket to our next unofficial “date.”
That next “date” was in Birmingham on Good Friday before
Easter. Clint and his best friend were going to hear a seminar held by David
Platt. Since recently breaking up with his girlfriend, Clint had an extra
ticket for me. Still having some feelings for his best friend, I decided to go.
Last minute his best friend backed out. I debated going because I didn't want
Clint to get the impression that I wanted more than friendship at the time. But
he and his best friend had built up this seminar so much that I wanted to go.
So I went.
Let me give you some background on my family traditions.
Every year for Easter we go to Monroe, Louisiana and have a crawfish boil at my
brother’s. Because of some circumstances, we ended up in Birmingham at my
sister’s for Easter. The same time Clint would be there for the seminar, I
would happen to be there too for the first time ever at Easter.
He picked me up at my sister’s that afternoon of the
seminar. We fell into our easy conversation and listened to some awesome music
we both enjoyed on the way. To give you an idea of how long we hung out that
night, it was several hours. The seminar started at 6:30 P.M. and didn't end
until about 1 o’clock the next morning.
Afterward we went to eat at a 24 hour IHOP and didn't leave until sometime
after 4 o’clock in the morning. He dropped me back off at my sisters around 5
A.M. and drove back home to Mississippi. I don’t know how he didn't fall asleep
at the wheel. I guess I can thank God for letting us be born in an age of
Redbull. Thank goodness because I started really liking him that night.
In between our first two unofficial “dates,” we talked A LOT
via texts and phone conversations. I hate talking on the phone, but our first
phone conversation lasted over 6 hours, and we talked just about every night on
the phone after that for almost the same amount of time. We've now gotten it
down to 1-2 hours out of necessity for things like sleep.
The fourth time we hung out, it was an official date. And
not many weeks later we both told each other for the first time ever that we
loved each other. It was terrifying and exhilarating moment because neither one
of us had ever said that to a significant other before then. I still love him
and am amazed at how that love grows each day. Just when I think I couldn't fit
anymore love into my heart, it expands and bubbles over once again. I've never
met anyone like him before who I could share my darkest secrets that even my
best friends don’t know. He is so comfortable to be around and brings me joy
every day. He shows me God’s love for me on a daily basis. God loves me
infinitely and unconditionally. That’s how Clint Jackson’s love feels. My mom’s
prayer with her five year old little girl was answered.
I mentioned a journal I've been writing to my future
husband. I recently looked back through it and found some entries where I said
“I feel like I met you today, but I don’t know for sure.” It’s amazing how God
has woven our stories together.
I have one last intricacy to add to the tapestry of our
story. In the summer of 2008 I had the privilege to travel with my Uncle David
and a group from his church to Israel. One of the most incredible experiences
of my life! I highly recommend going at least once. We stayed for ten days and
saw so many places and things I had only read about in the Bible. Seeing them
gives a whole new dynamic to Scripture. But alas, the one day I had really
looked forward to was the day we would go to Golgotha, the garden tomb, and the
wailing wall among other places; it was the day like so many who have traveled
before know all too well is when you get sick. I could barely get out of bed
because I felt so terrible. Under the circumstances it could've been worse,
like being sick while out and about with everybody or in some random stall with
some sheep and cattle. I don’t know how Mary had Jesus in a stable. I at least
had the privilege of puking my guts out in a beautiful palace converted into a
hotel in the middle of Bethlehem. If you've ever read the book The Kite Runner,
it would make you think of that. At the end of every evening, older brothers
and dads stand on their rooftops and teach the younger boys how to fly kites.
It’s a neat thing you wouldn't expect to experience in Israel. Had I not gotten
sick, I wouldn't have been there during the time of day they do that.
So as I lay in the hotel room by myself and made my slow
recovery by watching some of the kite flyers, I heard a voice. It was a
particular voice, even though my memory isn't good enough to remember what it
sounded like, I definitely remember I knew whose voice it was. It was my future
husband’s voice. The voice just said one word. My name. “Susanna!” it yelled.
And that was all. I sat up and looked around wondering if I was going crazy,
but I knew who it was. I prayed for my future husband right then. The voice had
sounded desperate like there was fear and worry lacing it.
On one of our early dates, Clint told me a story of how one
summer in 2008 he went over to a college pastor’s house with some of his
friends. It was an unusual time in all their lives because each one of them was
single. The pastor gave them some advice: to pray for their future wives and to
write letters to them. Clint did just that. He also told me of some difficult
times he was going through during that time, so that would account for the fear
and worry I heard in his calling my name.
I had told my best friend my side of the story years before
I even met Clint, so when I told her his side of it, we both got chills. It
would be an insult to my own intelligence if ever tried to deny the existence
of God. I went through a period in my life where I tried to reject Him, but in
His sovereignty, He always made a Broadway production of Himself many times.
I've had too many “coincidences” in my life that I can only logically give
credit to a Higher Power. Praise God, He chose to love me as intensely as He
has!
I've also known for a long time that I would be a pastor’s
wife. For whatever reason, God allowed me to have a gut feeling about this
early on in my college days. I even remember talking to a pastor’s wife about
it, explaining how I “just knew.” I don’t remember our whole conversation, but
I remember she left me feeling encouraged.
If you’re reading this, I’m either a soon to be Mrs.
Jackson, or am finally Mrs. Jackson. I always wanted a cool new last name when
I got married. Susanna Grace Jackson has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
And this is the story of how I met your friend, your tallest
friend, your son, your son-in-law, your cousin, your youth minister, your old
boyfriend, your (fraternity) brother, your (future) uncle, your (future) father
and grandfather, my (future) husband, my love. Praise be to God for him!